first time as head coach

I am so trying to enjoy my day after my soccer team won last night's game (7-2) and I was the only coach on the bench. We played against Histolaric at home but I knew this team has not done well in the first 9 games of the season. Still I was nervous about my Spanish and the referee did not make it easy.

We have a book with the player's paperwork in. Each player and coach is documented to play and before the game we present this book to the ref. Normally the book is all prepared and ready to go but with some of the lower aged kids given opportunities to play up, sometimes I have to go and arrange it quickly. Normally Jesús has this all done but of course he has been sick for some time and not able to come to the field, thus I have been entrusted with the team indefinitely. So if I am lacking in Spanish, I had better step it up. Normally I arrange the boys in order of jersey number. I was not told to do this but then again I guess the club can realize, despite language, that I am not some dummy.

Right before the game, the ref lines up the boys in the locker room and calls them out one by one. This is to check their equipment, jersey numbers and names to match the picture on their data sheets. I ran into a slight issue with Sebas since he wears #7 for the cadets and I have Lluc (yook) who also wears the same number. So I put a little tape on Sebas' jersey to turn his 7 into 71, since I also have a 17 on the team. Still I had a little issue with the arrangement of the boy’s player cards. I have now learned that I should put in the starting 11 in the front of the book and then the last 4 subs in the back. Normally we do not do this but it seemed to be a problem with the ref and I had to quickly change it.

Normally, I don't have such issues but one of my players and the captain, Benito, sometimes has a face of frustration when it comes to me. He is a great player. He controls the game and tempo very well and is probably the best ball handler I have ever seen. Still he has a way about his that can only be defined and confident and arrogant. These are not bad traits to have for a footballer as confidence can be the difference between a good player and a mediocre player. But as a coach, you spend way too much time putting him in line rather than coaching or some occasions. When this whole fiasco was happening with the ref, I could look in his face and see he wanted to help but it's frustrating for him and some of the boys to have to deal with a coach they cannot speak with easily. Sure most of the boys understand English as they are required to take it in school for many years. But his face told it all and made me that much more nervous and unfocused. He assisted me with ref but I knew he rather be on the field worming up rather than doing my job.

We had many players who were recovering from injury. Ramon and Lucito were both unable to play this week. Sebastian is still deciding if he wants to play after knee surgery, but we still have some more work for him to do to strengthen his knee and get his mind from worrying so much about it. I called up 5 cadets (lower team) to fill in my ranks but only 4 could make it. This was the first time I would work with 3 of them but I knew they were up for the challenge. Still, my Spanish is lacking so I did not understand the rules for player substitutions so I stayed on the side of caution and only changed 3 players in total, especially when I knew we had the game well in hand. The cool thing is despite being a goal down in the first 10 minutes; my boys were not afraid to keep pressing and quickly broke down the other team's defense and scored within 5 minutes of their goal. From then on it was a blood bath as we quickly ran up the score to be ahead 3-1 right before the break. Christian hurt his leg during a scramble near the top of the box which resulted in him injuring his leg and asked to be substituted out. I had to use my first sub of the game in the first half when I had planned on subbing him in at half time which is a free sub. Drats!!

They had a few threatening moments from their number 11 as I quickly made sure Najim picked up his marking responsibility to keep Christian clear since he was also playing with a sore back. Unfortunately, I put Najim in a difficult position as he picked up a yellow card for a tackle to clear the ball against Nº 11. The ref called the foul in the box but it was clear it was outside, resulting in a penalty for the other side. They converted and we went into the locker rooms 3-2. Still I was not worried.

I did my best in the locker room to commend the boys and keep them up so we can go out and finish this game off. I reminded them of what was needed to be done in the best Spanish I could muster. Funny, even though I brought Christian with me to the locker room to translate, his mother Helen is English, I don't think I needed him once to explain what I was trying to get across. We exited the locker room pumped up and ready to go.


The second half began and I admit and it was all a blur. I was counting my chickens sitting on the bench and had 3 people ready to go in when called. But with 2 subs left I was not sure how to get them all in for some playing time. I felt bad as I knew Albert, the youngest of all the players but still as effective as anyone else, we to suffer at my hands and not get in the game. I apologized to him but with the deficiencies I have in Spanish, I could not fully explain myself. Why do I feel this need to explain to the players? I think mostly because if this was an away game, I could have initiated the last change without fault. But being the home team, I did not have the luxury. Sometime in the second half when I knew I was not able to get this player on, his father came over in a rage and told him to get his things and let's go since his son was not playing. He did not say this directly to me but I caught the jest of it.

I was a bit torn on how I felt about this. One the one side I want to fit into this society. Coaching football, opening my own little shop and having a wife who is from here all helps but does not guarantee me a place in this small town. In order to make my assimilation into this culture smooth, I still have to be fair on the field, work hard in my shop and be nice to those people who I may not know who could be somehow related or good friends with someone that is a part of my wife's former life here. Still I feel like it has been all too easy for me so far. I have only had one bad time with someone here and that had nothing to do with language and more the character of person he was and his trying to take advantage of my business for his sake. That story I can tell you about later.

Still I am trying to sit pretty in our glorious victory last night and look forward to next week's game away against an even poorer team.

Sex education for a 6 year old

The other day, Alex and I were sharing some quality time in front of the TV. To most, I am sure this is not the ideal quality time to be shared between a father and a son, but we had just settled into the house on a cold and rainy day after sharing lunch with his grandparents. For most who do not know, the lunch time meal, especially on a Sunday, is a heavier meal than the others and we were unable to move too much. So sitting in front of the TV to watch a family styled movie was all the energy we could muster.

We were waiting for Carme to get warm and toasty with her pajamas and footsies and gather a blanket or two so we could recreate a homier version of a movie theater. While we waited we flipped a few channels and came across an interesting program on television. The program was about a real family who had an issue or two with the spoiled and assertive family pet. thank god it was not a Great Dane, this little dog, weighing maybe 3 lbs was just a terror. there were many behavior issues, fostered by the mother and daughter, and the father just allowed it to happen. But that was no the most interesting part.

The cut to a clip of the dog humping on a stuffed animal. this clip lasted what seemed like eternity, as Alex's gazing eyes and growing curiosity seemed to focus more intently on this display of sad affection. I cringed in my seat as he did no shy away and I heard new found gears churning away in his head. Now this is the same little boy who can't seem to look at a kissing scene in a movie, much less his own parents kissing in frequent public displays of affection.

Slowly, his head turned to me as his eyes would not leave the screen though his head tried desperately to turn my direction. My heart raced and mind searched for a possible answer to his upcoming possible child like mind's formation of a suitable question. I had no idea where he was going to go and what seemed like another eternity, his lips worked in unison with his mind and throat to squeak out one heart stopping question..."Dad...what is that dog doing?"

Time stopped.

I cleared my dry throat and tried to by time as my usual smart mouthed, quick witted and imaginative mind was blank. wished I was Hiro of the show "Heroes" where I could control time so I could afford the time to browse the internet or peruse the many fatherhood books I have shelved in my office for advice for answering this young mind. I remembered he is like a sponge and anything I say will be soaked up and remembered for most of his life, thus shaping the young man I was hoping to groom into a future gentleman. I took a deep breath and went on toe explain.

"Well Alex , you know when you touch your penis, it feels good sometimes...most times.."
"Uh huh...long pause...Dad, what's a penis?"
" Alex, a penis is the proper name for your "pee-pee"."
"Oh..."
"When you touch your penis, it feels good, well this dog has no ands like you or me so he has to rub his penis on objects...soft objects...so it will feel good to him."
"Oh...long pause...I get it"

Danger averted. The show did not show any more animal pornography while we waited for Carme. And he went on to the next shiny object in the room while waiting for his mother to join us.

The day ended without him asking more questions but I am sure he adventured below the belt line like I know I did when I was his age. Hey, I was an early starter...practice make perfect.

Fast forward to Monday. Alex had joined me in my shop as I worked after school. I was just about to take him to his soccer practice but trying to finish up a project for a customer of mine. I noticed out my store window, an old lady walked up with her two dogs and attached their leashes to the street lamp in front of the cafe she was aiming to go to and enjoy an afternoon coffee, like most in this country take time to do. The two dogs looked puzzled as their owner slowly walked away. Normally the dogs are somehow unaware of the leash restraining them from leaving their intended spot.

The seemingly lder and more mature of the two dogs was white with a few brown spots and weighed all of 15 pounds. The comparatively younger dog was black and resembled a poodle and about 8lbs. The white dog sat intensely looking out for the return of the owner, who was out of sight at this moment while the younger black dog stare at the white dog for what seemingly was direction in what to do now. But after sitting there in their frozen state for about a minute, the more than average wait time for a dog's attention span, the smaller black dog had other ideas. I mistakenly analyzed the intentions of the black dog. What happened next threw me into a tail spin...no pun intended. What I did not hear was the black dog trying to speak som sweet nothings into the ear of the other dog. With no response from the white dog, the black dog when into date rape mode and proceeded to mount the other.

Simple laws of chance versus success odd, the white dog was not having it. The white dog kept her rear end planted firmly on the cold and wet ground. I would assume it was more to his or her liking to have hemorrhoids than to be mounted by it's younger companion. Still I was unsure of the sex of either dog but I guess it is safe to assume the black one was male. The black one, doing only what hormones and nature had stained in his poor little canine mind, could not resist the cold shoulder of his white companion and just went for broke. Poor little thing could only muster enough leverage mount his muzzle on the shoulder of the other dog due to the leash being situated a certain way. You know how dogs like to tangle themselves in their leashes.

This sad attempt only reminded me of my younger years as I have tried to mount many before with only successfully losing more self dignity with my unpolished words and clumsy,nervous hands. Still I am a proponent to Darwin's ideas of survival of the fittest and was not about to go over and help the poor sap mate in anyway. All the while I waited for Alex to get bored with his shiny object and turn his head enough to catch a glimpse of the rerun from the day before but now in live action! I felt trapped as God was forcing my hand to make sure I had to deal with this with my son. Time was ticking away and the black dog was bound by duty to get that booty.

I thought there was a break in the action and I could get Alex out of the shop, past the hairy lovers and into the car like a rock star leaving his concert in a hurry, but alas I was wrong. I had just waited for the most opportune time to mention to Alex it was time to go. So as I mentioned this, Alex sprung to his feet and whirled on his coat and grabbed his bag containing all of this soccer equipment. As he turned and turned thinking it would assist him in trying to put this bag which outweighs him by a good 5 lbs, his eyes caught the peculiar happening only 20 40 ft away from him. He slowly stopped what he was doing and cock his head to one side, almost trying to see if he was imagining what he thought he was seeing. His face became flush and his arms went limp. Mind numbness overcame the poor sap. In the background you could see my head drop to my hands and I shook it slowly side to side asking, "Why me?".

Still I was not to be held captive in my shop by one love sick puppy. It did become more comical as I noticed the white dog was now o all fours and convently dropping his hind legs to sit as soon as the black dog thought the white dog was "coming around". The white dog dig not bark, snip or act counter aggressively towards the feeble attempts of the black dog. Just took it in stride like this was a normal occurence. I had to push the low jawed Alex closer to the car, which they happened to be trying to blocking with their spectacular show. I waited for Alex to ask me what they were doing so I could reply in a cynical manner..."this is called marriage. where the male tries and the female denies." but I figured that would do WAY more harm than good despite my flash of comical brilliance.

Alex could not turn his eyes away from the sight. And for a 6 year old, I can understand why. Daddy is the same way except my vision is usually focused on a similar event downloaded from the internet and involves silicone and far less quality acting. As we made it in the car, Alex still fixed on the young canine couple trying to negotiate a peaceful settlement to this debacle, he confidently said to me, exhibiting his empathy and care for animals since he declared he did not want to eat animals anymore until he found out no more hot dogs and chicken nuggets ever in his life, "poor doggie...if only he had hands, he would not need the other dog." He is well on his way to marriage.

The end.

Halloween...Tossa style

Another thing I miss...Halloween in the states. The people of Tossa have been celebrating Halloween for about 3 years now. I am not sure where this holiday came from but I suspect many years of seeing American movies as well as the influx of UK citizens who have relocated to this warmer part of Europe had something to do with the influence on this town. I cannot say much about neighboring towns, but tossa is starting to get the hang of it and it is up to me to push them over the edge.

I spent the whole month of October looking for pumpkins. It is safe to say that pumpkins are not a staple crop here in Spain. I could find small decorative ones but they did not nearly have the size to put an intricate carving despite only being able to put a tea light in the inside meaning no real light coming thru. Oh how I miss searching pumpkin patches for the biggest and roundest pumpkin so I could dream up a horrific or detailed carving into the face. I guess no pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving meal this year...sigh. It's ok, I prefer sweet potato.

In America, we look forward all week to either preparing our costume or buying one for our little ones. Half of the kick is fiding out which character is most popular with the kids. When I was a kid, there were many Luke Skywalkers and Chewbaccas roaming the south side of Richmond along with your safe bets of Superman or Spider-man. I don't know about you but the Hulk just never came off well since most wearing the costume were all of 6 years old and the body frame to go with their age. Not being stateside, am at a lost for which characters will venture down to my dark end of the street to venture in the darkness thru our cul-de-sac with owls hooting and who knows what kind of insect or snake lurked in the front easement.

I do miss the neighbors a street up and around the corner who always had a frightful display in the front yard. With garage open, there was a scene of some masked villain with a fake chainsaw and fake blood all over the concrete (I hope they sealed that driveway properly). all the while, outdoor speakers blared horrify moans and screams from hidden locations around the house. Coffins and tombstones decorated the front law. I, to this day, still feel odd about walking across a grave, out of respect for the dead, so it's a good way to keep the like minded off his grass.

Normally, when I was a child, we started trick or treating when the darkness fell. It added to the fear factor of All Hallow's eve. Carme and I traded off years where we would walk with our little terrified of the dark Alex while the other stayed home to pass out candy. Alex loves me, I am sure, but on this day, when it was my turn to take him out, he was not my friend as I pushed him to walk to each scary and dark house to retrieve the candy he knew I was going to limit him from eating come Nov. 1. He was tired as my role in slave driver wore on with each footstep, becoming more and more intense. I guess I was fulfilling my childhood.

Still I noticed Halloween was changing, not just because I was getting older and no long could fit in my Teenage Ninja Turtle outfit...well maybe a little...but I noticed that we were becoming a little smarter as adults than our parents before. With America waiting until the weekend after Halloween to roll back clocks an hour, children and parents could now come home from school and head out in costume before nightfall settled. This in effect could help prevent some of the accidents people were having driving their neighborhoods avoiding frantic trick or treaters. Well we hope. I remember how odd it was to see the movie E.T. and the Halloween scene where the sun had not even got close to setting and the residents went out for sweets and goodies.

If you had been paying attention to the culture here in Tossa, most parents work until 8pm at night and we have already rolled back our clocks a week ago. Side note, when we roll our clocks forward, the sun doesn't set until near 9:30 at the height of the summer. I love that! but nightfall comes early for us in the winter months and I am turning on the lights to my store sign near 6pm. It had been raining all week and torrential downpours threatened my first full year leading up to Halloween. We suffer form some pretty harsh wind storms usually during the night bu for the past two days, we had been experiencing the wind and the rain. I was bummed but not to be destroyed.

Still I had begun my Halloween atmosphere in my store by picking up the few decorations Carme could find on a shopping day a few town down where they have more items and selection for sale. What is missing are the boxes and boxes of display of different costumes set up where most seasonal things are displayed in the local retail shops. I dusted off my collection of Halloween sounds and music and set them to play on 3 computers simultaneously. The layered effect of random screams and echoes filled my shop. Passer byers turned their head noticing the eerie sounds oozing from my door. As night fell, the rain ceased and I added a bit more of atmosphere to the shop by cutting off the lights and lighting candles. The local kids that I do know all poked their heads in and enjoyed the limited atmosphere I was working with. I did not anticipate customers but one guy stopped by right before closing at 8pm with a 2 second fix for him computer. I laughed as he wondered if I was still open as he clearly did not get the spooky effect I was going for. who could blame him.

So at 8:08pm I closed my shop for the night. Having a few kids in home made costumes to visit me in my shop and enjoy my limited selection of candy and the horrifying sounds coming from 3 different directions with an echo effect added to them. One child, dressed as a witch, was not sure where the sounds were coming from and asked if I had a monster in my bathroom hiding out. I walked home, only to encounter one small child in costume with her mother. Seems like witches are popular if not for lack of retail costumes of cartoon characters and the universal understanding what a witch is. I dreamed of how to make my mark on this town and bring a little of me and my culture. I talked to Andrea, who runs a local murder dinner theater for the tourists and we spoke of renting out a house and making it a haunted feature in the month of October and maybe year round. I think it would go nicely with her mystery theater since she emplys many actors and models for her other businesses. maybe we can incorporate maybe some ghostly pirates who visited the area with our ruined castle do draw more tourists. Still it is in the thought stage. If I have anything I have my imagination.