American Gansta

So a week or two ago I decided to do some marketing and self promotion. In order for my business to fly, I have to get the word out that I am in business right? I cannot rely on the local media as Tossa doesn´t have a daily newspaper. No, the local newsroom is Tossa itself with rumors and gossip running amok. The most ironic part is overhearing younger ladies, congregating over cigarettes and half empty coffee cups, gossiping about the older women and how the older women gossip. I wish there was a mirror convenient to show them the reflection of old hags they are becoming.

There is no local TV station with nightly news at 10pm...no, no, no...BUT there is a local access cable type channel. It´s called Tossa TV where it holds basically, a slide show of upcoming events. They broadcast anything from upcoming group trips to places like Greece or Rome to the local bingo halls new times and specials. They also broadcast upcoming local soccer matches so I always know where I need to be when my team is playing.

So how would I get the word out that I have a shop and trying to give the local boys and competition, Info G, a run for their money. So I asked around to my English speaking friends for some ideas and to get the lowdown on Info G´s angle in town. Along with some inside scoop of how poor they are at turnaround and quality of service, I knew my angle had to be to reassure people of my quality of service, maybe a service guarantee and return policy and lastly, hope that I can provide any solution to their needs. In between all the thinking on my feet to come up with a marketing plan, I had to get solutions to how I am going to get the word out.

I could not trust word of mouth to provide steady and instantaneous clients (but it doesn't hurt)...I had to hoof it around town. So I came up with fliers in several different forms and sent it off to the printers for some professional touch. After waiting almost 2 weeks, finally my poster, fliers, business cards and card stock hand outs in two different sizes (2 and 4 up for a A4 sized paper...there is no letter and legal here). Carme´s mother claimed two posters, one for her flower shop and one in the back window of her car (which reminds me of a over sized Studebaker) Big ups to mamacita Carmina, repping the east side gossipers.

Now Tossa is not a very large town and I don´t have the money nor the mailing lists to have the local Correos (think national postal service) mail them out. But I have my own issues with the local postal office here that I have yet to get into, so trust me on this one. A hint, we get mail once a week it seems. before i thought it was because we just moved here but when you are waiting on specific things, you realize that is not the case. the mail is just slow. So I made my rounds to the more populated areas dropping, one by one, fliers in people´s mailboxes. Most of the apartment buildings are key accessed. Even the mailman has to ring all the buzzers to an apartment building to gain access to the mailboxes located in the hallway of the building. Figuring out how I am going to gain access, I just followed the mailman´s ways. I hit buzzers one at a time, waiting for a spell, for someone to answer. When they answer, I just say I am correos and they allow me entry...even if the mailman ran hours before. Also, only ever seeing one mail, i figured if he could do it, I could cover the whole town in a day. Well I ran out of fliers before I could test that theory but I also figured something out. Because there is only one mailman, THAT IS THE REASON WHY WE GET MAIL ONCE A WEEK...he is too lazy to walk the entire town!!!

So I used a bit of Spanish, charm and overcame a lot of fear and went to talk to local businesses about leaving some of my card stock hand outs at their coffee counters or bars, figuring people don´t come in for coffee to go, they sit and enjoy a bit of solidarity and peace from the grind known as Tossa´s traffic woes...which means a tourist bus is creeping along the main street looking for a place to park and is slowing the locals from their usual routines of getting croissants right out of the oven.

I went into one of my favorite coffee places, Cafe di Tossa, and asked, in broken Spanish, if they would allow me the chance to leave some handouts here. They agreed. They even took the time to read it and appreciate the flier was printed in Spanish on one side and Catalan on the other. I am a genius! That was 2 weeks ago and about 40 cards left at the counter, placed neatly for all of Tossa to notice and sip their coffee to. Well at least the ones sitting at the bar.

Well I went back to Cafe di Tossa after 2 weeks, not only to enjoy a refreshing mid afternoon pick me upper, but to see if some of my fliers had moved. To my surprise there were non left. I might have expected a few left but not bone dry. I was elated and overwhelmed I almost kissed the lady behind the counter. Luckily I came to my senses as she is not one to even think of in that way. Just try to imagine a female version to Wane Newton if you will. But then reality set in. 2 weeks, all cards gone. It´s a possibility but...no emails, no phone calls and I would have to find a way to get web statistics on people hitting my site. Hmmmm. I inquired but the girl again was hard to look at and it was hard to focus on her mouth and the sound of her husky, I just got up in the morning, mustaches about to break thru having self. So I gave up and walked away, feeling a bit defeated.

I did the same reconnaissance at other locations to just hear the familiar and faint "cha-ching" sound as I noticed that I was erased from the town of Tossa. there was no record of my business´existence. I was even removed from the local tourist office which I was really excited about having my mark made there. Still no phone calls, no emails, no business. I know times are tough in Tossa during the winter, but are my pamphlets being used in the fireplaces of Tossa? Maybe some dumb nuts was using it for scratch paper...remember i printed on both sides. Could possibly some poor soul be using those leaflets as toilet paper? Watch out for the card stock...ouch.Still i had a sinking feeling that I was getting my ass handed to me from those nitwits from Info G. I can´t punk out but before sweet revenge is to be exacted, I need to get some money into the house.

So I got an idea that would help out a bit more. I am currently looking into putting ads in local magazines and newspapers. Maybe even place a radio ad. But my latest idea, and not too costly and possibly effective was to talk to the business owners I have not talk to already, but not to leave cards...but to just greet them with a welcome letter detailing my services. I guess this way I won´t get removed from plain view but my visibility is limited.

The saga continues.